Round Two!

It has almost been a year since we came home from Vietnam. Almost a year that we haven't been constantly checking our emails for any little (or big) adoption updates. Almost a year of not stressing about a baby half way across the world. So we decided to get started on adoption, round two. Yikes! How quickly it all comes back. Also time to dust off this old blog!

Before we even left Vietnam I had a strong feeling that we would adopt again. And I believe Jake was pretty much on board before we even landed in Vancouver again (although he was adamant that this was baby number last. Even told our agency if I tried calling after this to ignore my calls, hehe).  Not really ones to wait too long, we got started on updating our home study on the very day we completed our six month post-placement meeting. We knew how long completing the home study and dossier took last time, and wanted to get going again on that as soon as possible. Pipsqueak was adjusting incredibly well, and apparently we were coping well enough, so we got the go ahead from our agency.

This is the part where I get slightly vague, because I can't share too many details. I can't say what country we are adopting from this time around, but our information was sent off in February and we were settling in for what we figured would be at least a few months wait. 

Except it wasn't a few months. It was more like a week. 

We got a phone call last week and we are so excited to say that we have another daughter! The boys were not-so-secretly hoping for a brother but even they couldn't wipe the silly grins off their faces when we got her picture.

Timeline wise, we aren't expecting to travel until August at the very earliest, to bring her home. Unfortunately,  this begins the hardest part of waiting for all the paperwork to go through. Prayers that everything goes smoothly would be so very much appreciated! And for health and safety for our baby. We would just love to hop on an airplane tomorrow to get to her but sadly we know it will still be a while. 

Vietnam Part 2 (Gotcha day)

Monday March 21st was Gotcha day! (The day that we got our little girl, explanation probably not necessary, but still...).

(on the way to her orphanage!!)

We killed time in the morning by walking to Starbucks, and then pacing back and forth in our room. Well Jake tried to nap. I paced and packed and repacked our backpack multiple times. We got to the orphanage at around 1:30, and were brought into a small office off the courtyard. They offered us tea, so Jake and I both figured we'd be talking first, and perhaps going over paperwork, so we were surprised when a nannie walked into the room and placed her onto Jake's lap. So much for videotaping our first meeting haha!.

Within minutes of meeting her! Proud daddy

Most definitely love at first sight, for me...

I cannot even describe to you the feeling we felt, it was incredibly surreal. After studying every detail of the photos and videos we had of her, she definitely looked familiar to us, but there was also so much we didn't know about her. I can't even imagine how she was feeling! Definitely uncomfortable, she was very stiff, and didn't want to face us, we looked and sounded different, and she had just woken up from her nap, so she was confused. Everyone at the orphanage seemed to disappear to give us some space to get to know her. We were able to see her room, the crib she slept in, the baby that she shared it with, and where her bottles were made.

Her room

She was very obviously loved, her main nannie seemed like a lovely woman, she didn't speak any english, and our translator/social worker wanted to give us space to be with our new baby, so we weren't able to chat with her much, but she was what we had hoped for when thinking about our girls first caregiver!

Two hours later her nannie took her back for one last time to hold her on the way to the government offices (it must be so hard for her to say goodbye to the babies that she has invested so much into!), and we all got into our social workers car to head over for the official giving and receiving ceremony. On the way we had to stop so our social worker could develop a passport photo he had taken of her. The giving and receiving ceremony wasn't overly ceremonious, on the way I had given the nannie a family photo so she could see who we all were, and she couldn't stop laughing (we understood it as a happy laugh, but perhaps a little at how white (and long) Donny's hair was). So while we were waiting for paperwork to be prepared she showed the photo to everyone. I got our baby back, fed her a bottle and she dozed off for the rest of the time there. We signed some papers, got back into the vehicle, and were brought back to our hotel. And just like that she was our baby! AHHHH!!

On our way back to our hotel

Vietnam Part 1

If you ever get an opportunity to travel to Vietnam you'd be crazy not to take it! Jake and I LOVED our time there. Okay technically we have never travelled anywhere in Asia before, so we don't have any experience to base it off of, and yes, it is the birth country of our daughter, so we perhaps were on a bit of a high that trip, but still. Go.

We left Vancouver on a Thursday, and arrived in Hanoi after a quick stop in Seoul, on Friday evening. We were so wise and did not sleep a wink on the 26 hours of travel. Okay I didn't. So we were exhausted and ready to fall into bed. It also made me a tad easy to overwhelm, so the first evening I may have shed a few tears (I think it was exhaustion combined with culture shock). My youtube preparations on how to cross the street however did come in handy when our driver dropped us off half a block and a street away from our hotel. I crossed the street as I had learned, keep a steady pace, eyes on where I wanted to go, mopeds swerving around me in front and behind. I'm not joking there are seriously youtube videos showing you how to cross the street in Vietnam. Jake unfortunately didn't watch those and had a slightly more fearful street crossing (think more closed his eyes and ran). Okay not that bad, but what you need to take away from this is 1. the traffic is insane, and 2. SOMETIMES (rarely) I am more prepared than Jake. That was the only time on the trip so I had to mention it.

I am thankful that our agency recommended giving ourselves a few days to get our bearings, we actually really enjoyed Saturday and most of Sunday walking and exploring. I believe we walked around 26 kilometres worth of streets in the old quarter in Vietnam and saw so many interesting and incredible sights. Every road is named after what is sold on that street, we made a mistake and walked down the meat one (not recommended), but there were so many people and shops packed into small areas it was incredible. 

We quickly found our favourite restaurants and coffee shops (and discovered a Starbucks about a twenty minute walk away which felt like home!). Jake was thrilled to find that an average beer cost around $1USD, and all the food we had was delicious. Until we made the mistake of trying to order pizza while feeling homesick. The Vietnamese make delicious food, but the pizza is bland.

We aren't big on museums, we much preferred getting a feel of the country by walking around and exploring, but Sunday morning we checked out the Women's museum. I'm glad we went, it took us a little over and hour and gave us a good idea of what life is and was like for women in Vietnam. We watched a video on Vietnamese women from mountain villages that have left their families to work in Hanoi, only going home on holidays, in order to pay for their children to attend school. It made me want to stop trying to barter (which I wasn't good at anyway) and let them have the extra few dollars.

It turns out there are a few things travellers in Vietnam talk about, and judging by the t-shirts on sale, the traffic and the power lines are two hot topics. There doesn't seem to be much in terms of building or electricity code, and what people fit onto a moped is very impressive especially considering how traffic works there. We actually were amazed at how well it seemed to work, and I THINK I got the main idea. Stop at red lights (if there are any lights at the intersection), unless you are going straight through, turning left or turning right. Then don't stop just honk your horn and keep going. Go one direction on all one way streets, unless where you want to go is against the flow of traffic, and if so, by all means go whatever way you want down whatever street. Again, just use your horn. Finally, if you are approaching a busy intersection and want to turn left don't slow down or stop just use your horn well before even approaching the intersection, and just weave your way through.

Letter on attachment and bonding

We are home! I had great intentions of sharing our trip with you while we were in Vietnam, but never took the chance to while there. I will share the story over the next while on here.

After so much preparing, hoping and waiting our precious baby is home! So many of you have supported, loved and prayed for us on this journey and we are so incredibly thankful for all of it. Honestly. The trip went so well, even quicker than we had hoped (When we booked our trip home for two weeks after recieving Grace we knew it was perhaps a little tight of a timeline, but with so many people praying for paperwork to go smoothly we were able to book earlier flights home!).

Because we know you care so much for our child and family we want to share a bit of information that we hope will best equip everyone around her to help us set a strong and healthy foundation for her, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways Grace came into our family like the other three. Very wanted, prayed for and loved. We will raise her in the same way, but there will be a few differences in the beginning as she learns what parents and a family is. We missed out on the first 7.5 months of her life, and for her, spending that time in an orphanage she didn't get to learn the trust in a parent that babies typically learn starting day one.

Jake and I truly believe that she was loved and cared for, it was evident when we got to visit her orphanage.  No Nannie, though,  can replace the love of a parent, and Grace shared her room with 5 other babies all needing bottles and diapers, so we understand that left little time for cuddles, kisses and all the other good stuff involved in caring for a baby. We know the care for every child in an institutional setting looks different, and we are now getting glimpses of the things that she missed, and trying our best to meet each need and to start to reverse the patterns that have formed. We are teaching her that when she cries (which isn't often because she learned at a young age that crying doesn't help) we are there to meet her needs. Each time we meet those needs we are establishing trust with her.


We are also sensitive to the loss she felt at a very young age; babies regardless of age, feel trauma when losing a parent, and we want to respect that. We will not be sharing the personal details about her story because that is something that is hers to share if and when she wants to.

So what will this look like? The best way for us to build a relationship of trust with her is for Jake and I to be the only ones to meet her needs and cries for a time. Don't worry, it won't be forever, we love and value our family and friends and the important role you play in her life, and in time you will be able to feed her her favorite snacks too!

The first is to set physical boundaries. In the orphanage, any caregiver might have met her need, but at first we need to be the ones meeting her needs. For that reason you can help us by redirecting our little one to mom and dad when she needs something. Jake and I will be the only ones to feed her, change her, and comfort her. We will always be in very close proximity with her as well. I know this is a harder one, it is for all of us because we are so excited for you all to meet her, but children from orphanage settings are prone to go too easily to anyone and everyone which hinders the important primary relationship with parents.

The second is to be patient and understanding with us as we hunker down at home for awhile. In the adoption world this is called "cocooning". Grace very rarely left her room at the orphanage, and she is not used to the pace of life we live here. Almost everything is new for her, and most of it overstimulating. She was very scared when she heard music or voices over loud speakers for example, because it was all new and too much for her to process and understand. We want to ease her into this, so for the first while we will be watching how she handles one change at a time, and will be limiting our outings.

This will be a little tricky because we like to be on the go, but also understand this is an important time in our family. We are so blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn't ask for a better family and friends for our precious child. While we are so excited to have her home, we are also trying so hard to do what's best for her. Prayers for bonding and attachment would be very appreciated! We are already seeing steps in the right direction and are so happy with how she is doing so far.




Thank you so much for your love and support in this time of growing. We count each of you as such a special part of our family – and we can’t wait for our child to know you and love each of you as much as we do!

We recieved our Letter of Approval!

YES!! Jake and I are over the moon excited. On Monday we recieved an email letting us know that our agency had recieved our letter of approval (LOA) which is the step we have been not so patiently waiting to come for 5 months now! Wow. That was long. We are so incredibly happy to have that waiting behind us now, and so ready to hop on an airplane to pick up our baby girl!

The next step is having a letter sent from our government offices in Victoria, and hopefully within a couple of weeks Jake and I will have the date for the giving and recieving ceremony where we get our girl in our arms (never to let go again, let me tell you!).

The last weeks leading up to the approval were so rough. Definitely was at my lowest in this whole process, and really needing even a small sign that things were moving along. So we were beyond excited to have the letter, when we had been told not to expect it for another few weeks.

Timeline wise we are praying (and would love your prayers as well!) that we get to travel mid/late March. It is typically a month after receiving the letter to travel, so we are praying things move along at a good pace. While we wait we are keeping pretty busy! March seems to be a full month with a baby in the family, a wedding, two birthdays, and getting everything lined up for travel will be squeezed in there too but we are so thankful!

The waiting is so hard!

Christmas has so many aspects to it, and the one that I am really being made aware of this year is longing. For so long the promise of a savior the Messiah was what people clung to, and longed for. He came that first Christmas as a tiny baby, a baby that brought so much joy and expectations.

We too are in a season of longing, to bring our baby girl home. It is a hard season of waiting, and for Christmas, having that feeling that someone is missing can be tough. We so desperately want our baby home with us, but recently we were told that our approval is being slowed down because she's not yet six months. So she may have to wait in an orphanage for an extra month before we can even be approved as her family.

I'm holding onto the truths that God has made so clear to us throughout this whole adoption process, but sometimes that can be so hard. I was reminded recently that true living means embracing each season He brings to us, and even the season of waiting to bring our child home. One day (hopefully soon) we will have her in our arms, and we will remember the longing, and will be reminded again of God's faithfulness.

I am reminding myself that the same Father that put the stars in the sky over the precious babies manger is the same Father watching over all of us, including baby Grace. I hope to never forget this feeling either, so that we can always remember God's faithfulness now and forever.

We got to skype with our baby girl!

Want to know what the best part of this whole process has been so far? How many times God has given us exactly what we need, and shown us time and time again that his hand is in this whole thing.

Since being matched with our little girl we have been stressing about how she is, if she's sick will they get her help right away, what are the conditions she's living in, who's taking care of her, is she loved and hugged or is she alone a lot of the time.

A few weeks ago a friend said her cousin was going to travel around the country she's from, and wondered if she would maybe be able to go and visit her. Thankfully it was able to be arranged and we not only got a video and more photos of our baby, we actually got to video chat with her on Skype! We got to see some pretty big smiles from her, and completely melted over how precious she is. Seriously, she's one CUTE baby. She looked so healthy, alert and content. She's pretty tiny for four months (especially compared to what Donny was at that age...) but that doesn't seem to be slowing her down!

 We got to see the room she is in, and even her crib mate (she is never alone!) and the nannies that care for her. It is nowhere near the same as having a family, but we have comfort to know that she is doing well, and is being well cared for.

Our paperwork is still chugging along as far as we know, and still no word on when we can travel. Jake and I are still holding on to hope that we can travel by late January, but not sure that is possible or not. If we're still around in February you may want to avoid me, I'll probably be pretty grumpy...