Letter on attachment and bonding

We are home! I had great intentions of sharing our trip with you while we were in Vietnam, but never took the chance to while there. I will share the story over the next while on here.

After so much preparing, hoping and waiting our precious baby is home! So many of you have supported, loved and prayed for us on this journey and we are so incredibly thankful for all of it. Honestly. The trip went so well, even quicker than we had hoped (When we booked our trip home for two weeks after recieving Grace we knew it was perhaps a little tight of a timeline, but with so many people praying for paperwork to go smoothly we were able to book earlier flights home!).

Because we know you care so much for our child and family we want to share a bit of information that we hope will best equip everyone around her to help us set a strong and healthy foundation for her, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

In many ways Grace came into our family like the other three. Very wanted, prayed for and loved. We will raise her in the same way, but there will be a few differences in the beginning as she learns what parents and a family is. We missed out on the first 7.5 months of her life, and for her, spending that time in an orphanage she didn't get to learn the trust in a parent that babies typically learn starting day one.

Jake and I truly believe that she was loved and cared for, it was evident when we got to visit her orphanage.  No Nannie, though,  can replace the love of a parent, and Grace shared her room with 5 other babies all needing bottles and diapers, so we understand that left little time for cuddles, kisses and all the other good stuff involved in caring for a baby. We know the care for every child in an institutional setting looks different, and we are now getting glimpses of the things that she missed, and trying our best to meet each need and to start to reverse the patterns that have formed. We are teaching her that when she cries (which isn't often because she learned at a young age that crying doesn't help) we are there to meet her needs. Each time we meet those needs we are establishing trust with her.


We are also sensitive to the loss she felt at a very young age; babies regardless of age, feel trauma when losing a parent, and we want to respect that. We will not be sharing the personal details about her story because that is something that is hers to share if and when she wants to.

So what will this look like? The best way for us to build a relationship of trust with her is for Jake and I to be the only ones to meet her needs and cries for a time. Don't worry, it won't be forever, we love and value our family and friends and the important role you play in her life, and in time you will be able to feed her her favorite snacks too!

The first is to set physical boundaries. In the orphanage, any caregiver might have met her need, but at first we need to be the ones meeting her needs. For that reason you can help us by redirecting our little one to mom and dad when she needs something. Jake and I will be the only ones to feed her, change her, and comfort her. We will always be in very close proximity with her as well. I know this is a harder one, it is for all of us because we are so excited for you all to meet her, but children from orphanage settings are prone to go too easily to anyone and everyone which hinders the important primary relationship with parents.

The second is to be patient and understanding with us as we hunker down at home for awhile. In the adoption world this is called "cocooning". Grace very rarely left her room at the orphanage, and she is not used to the pace of life we live here. Almost everything is new for her, and most of it overstimulating. She was very scared when she heard music or voices over loud speakers for example, because it was all new and too much for her to process and understand. We want to ease her into this, so for the first while we will be watching how she handles one change at a time, and will be limiting our outings.

This will be a little tricky because we like to be on the go, but also understand this is an important time in our family. We are so blessed to have so many loved ones around us. We couldn't ask for a better family and friends for our precious child. While we are so excited to have her home, we are also trying so hard to do what's best for her. Prayers for bonding and attachment would be very appreciated! We are already seeing steps in the right direction and are so happy with how she is doing so far.




Thank you so much for your love and support in this time of growing. We count each of you as such a special part of our family – and we can’t wait for our child to know you and love each of you as much as we do!

We recieved our Letter of Approval!

YES!! Jake and I are over the moon excited. On Monday we recieved an email letting us know that our agency had recieved our letter of approval (LOA) which is the step we have been not so patiently waiting to come for 5 months now! Wow. That was long. We are so incredibly happy to have that waiting behind us now, and so ready to hop on an airplane to pick up our baby girl!

The next step is having a letter sent from our government offices in Victoria, and hopefully within a couple of weeks Jake and I will have the date for the giving and recieving ceremony where we get our girl in our arms (never to let go again, let me tell you!).

The last weeks leading up to the approval were so rough. Definitely was at my lowest in this whole process, and really needing even a small sign that things were moving along. So we were beyond excited to have the letter, when we had been told not to expect it for another few weeks.

Timeline wise we are praying (and would love your prayers as well!) that we get to travel mid/late March. It is typically a month after receiving the letter to travel, so we are praying things move along at a good pace. While we wait we are keeping pretty busy! March seems to be a full month with a baby in the family, a wedding, two birthdays, and getting everything lined up for travel will be squeezed in there too but we are so thankful!

The waiting is so hard!

Christmas has so many aspects to it, and the one that I am really being made aware of this year is longing. For so long the promise of a savior the Messiah was what people clung to, and longed for. He came that first Christmas as a tiny baby, a baby that brought so much joy and expectations.

We too are in a season of longing, to bring our baby girl home. It is a hard season of waiting, and for Christmas, having that feeling that someone is missing can be tough. We so desperately want our baby home with us, but recently we were told that our approval is being slowed down because she's not yet six months. So she may have to wait in an orphanage for an extra month before we can even be approved as her family.

I'm holding onto the truths that God has made so clear to us throughout this whole adoption process, but sometimes that can be so hard. I was reminded recently that true living means embracing each season He brings to us, and even the season of waiting to bring our child home. One day (hopefully soon) we will have her in our arms, and we will remember the longing, and will be reminded again of God's faithfulness.

I am reminding myself that the same Father that put the stars in the sky over the precious babies manger is the same Father watching over all of us, including baby Grace. I hope to never forget this feeling either, so that we can always remember God's faithfulness now and forever.

We got to skype with our baby girl!

Want to know what the best part of this whole process has been so far? How many times God has given us exactly what we need, and shown us time and time again that his hand is in this whole thing.

Since being matched with our little girl we have been stressing about how she is, if she's sick will they get her help right away, what are the conditions she's living in, who's taking care of her, is she loved and hugged or is she alone a lot of the time.

A few weeks ago a friend said her cousin was going to travel around the country she's from, and wondered if she would maybe be able to go and visit her. Thankfully it was able to be arranged and we not only got a video and more photos of our baby, we actually got to video chat with her on Skype! We got to see some pretty big smiles from her, and completely melted over how precious she is. Seriously, she's one CUTE baby. She looked so healthy, alert and content. She's pretty tiny for four months (especially compared to what Donny was at that age...) but that doesn't seem to be slowing her down!

 We got to see the room she is in, and even her crib mate (she is never alone!) and the nannies that care for her. It is nowhere near the same as having a family, but we have comfort to know that she is doing well, and is being well cared for.

Our paperwork is still chugging along as far as we know, and still no word on when we can travel. Jake and I are still holding on to hope that we can travel by late January, but not sure that is possible or not. If we're still around in February you may want to avoid me, I'll probably be pretty grumpy...

Quick adoption update!

We just learned that our babies dossier is currently at the Department of Adoption, which was the next step we were waiting for. We are praying it moves through there smoothly so it can be sent over to us for our signatures! It will take an estimated six weeks for the DA to approve and send us this first letter.
It is so great to hear that things are moving along, and we are feeling thankful and hopeful that it will keep chugging along! We were unsure how long it would take to get to this point, and were given an estimate of around a month, which is exactly how long it took so we're pretty happy there were no delays!

Adoption Timeline

It is such a surreal feeling, knowing that your baby is here, but not here yet. When I close my eyes I'm in an orphanage many many miles away looking at her sweet face. We are doing everything we can to bring our baby home, and yet at this point there is nothing we can actually "do" to help the process along except sit and wait. 

We have been waiting for an idea of timelines for the next steps that need to be completed before we get to bring our baby home. I was really holding onto hope that our timeline would be super short, unrealistic of me to even hope that, but still. I can't help it! It looks like my hope of traveling in January to pick up our baby is not too realistic. It could be closer to march (!)

There are a couple of steps paperwork wise that need to happen, we need first approval from the Department of Adoption, which then comes here for us to approve, to our Canadian government for approval, and then goes back there for a second approval. We're praying that each of those steps goes smoothly and in good time as well!

A friend said some words I really needed to hear the other day, instead of feeling like I'm waiting on word from our agency, I need to instead be waiting on God and His timing. Trusting that He has this all under control.

In the meantime I'm trying to focus on getting our house all ready for baby, every room is getting organized and re-decorated probably a few times before she will actually get here, and Jake's project to do list is growing by the second. Thankfully he's so good at booking off a day on the weekend to help get it done. Such a good man.

Want to help? We would so appreciate your prayers, prayers for our baby that she will continue to thrive, grow, be healthy and well cared for, and that our paperwork will all move along without any delay. I think its very cute that the kids are now always praying for her, even Donny will mumble "give baby hugs. give baby bottles, give baby toys. Amen" such a sweet "big brother".

Baby girl!

Jake and I are so thrilled to announce that we have been matched with baby girl! This is called a "soft" proposal, so she is not ours yet, but we are working hard to make it that way!

She is a month and a half old, and the most precious little thing ever. We can't share any photos until she is ours, but just believe me when I say she is ADORABLE.

Now we begin the work of bringing her home. Which brings us to our request of you...could you please pray with us that she stays healthy, is well cared for, and also that our paperwork goes smoothly and in a very timely manner? We are so anxious to get to our little girl, but we are dependent on paperwork moving along without any hiccups.

I'm going to be honest. The waiting is much harder when you know who your baby is but know that it will still be a while until we can have her in our arms. Also knowing what conditions she is living in until we can get there. Please we would appreciate it if if you can pray that it all goes smoothly and quickly as we are eager to have her home!